It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
