Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
