whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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