Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
