That reminds me...we need to get swords
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize