My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
