Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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