How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
