No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
