Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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