Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
