She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little spoons don't ask big questions
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize