Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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