Ketchup is God's man juice
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
