Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize