Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
