So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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