Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
