Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
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You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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