one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
