Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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