Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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