just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize