Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
