my room smells like sperm. sweet.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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