yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize