They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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