Whod you bang
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
