There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize