Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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