dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
