She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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