Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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