Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize