Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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