how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
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Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
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Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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