Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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