DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
