Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
All the doctor said was why
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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