i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
