here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
