We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize