my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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