I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
