its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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