hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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