You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
