Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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