i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
where are my eyebrows?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
