i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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