I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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