so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
