Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
