What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
