A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
