It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
