i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
