Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
