well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
