Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize