Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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