you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
