I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize