Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
